What’s On In Winter 2025

Beloved Offtopics friends,

I’m still waiting for one of you to write in with a suggested demonym for those of you who live in that place Mailchimp unromantically calls “The Offtopics Mailing List”. I can’t keep referring to you as “Offtopics Friends” forever. It feels like such a placeholder…

And while we’re at it – what should we call this newsletter? I’m leaning towards calling it “Hot Topics”… though admittedly, that name DOES put me in mind of The Hot Gossip dancers that boggled my juvenile mind during re-runs of the Kenny Everett Show on the ABC back in the day. Ah… memories… But before I let myself get mugged down memory lane, best not to go… ahem… off topic and move on to the hot topics (Ah ha!) of this newsletter.

We’ve got a couple of shows to announce, two Offtopics shows, a plug for Linc’s forthcoming album launch, more docos at Sunday School of Rock and a sad farewell to one of The Offtopics’ management team.

Let’s get on with it!

The Offtopics at Shotkickers – Friday 13 June

We’re bringing our punch-drunk funk, unsteady rocksteady and slapstick soul to a last-minute surprise show at Shotkickers on the spoooookiest night of the year – Friday 13 June!

Shotkickers has been rapidly rising over the last couple of years as the IT venue for Melbourne’s independent band scene in the north. They’ve shown their dedication to live music by investing in a top quality sound and light system which means you can both SEE and HEAR your favourite bands achieve sonic clarity without being so loud they deafen you. Shotkickers was on our radar as a possible venue for our album launch but we couldn’t quite accommodate each other’s dates. So when there was a surprise cancellation we thought, “let’s do it!” It’s a pretty short lead time to the gig though – so we’ll need your help filling the room!

This is our FIRST Melbourne show since last November’s album launch. Bring your dancing crocs for what promises to be a very special night with the full 7-piece band with support from Ngiyampaa man PIRRITU.

Polash met Brett Lee aka Pirritu at a music management workshop a few years ago. He has an interesting story and writes sweet, soulful tunes in a singer-songwriter vein. He can also rock a killer jumper. Pirritu will be an excellent warm up for all the bombast and silliness to follow.

Some of that silliness includes a guest appearance by our old friend Madeleine Clare to duet on Mr Tonight. Don’t miss the delicious awkwardness that occurs when she and Polash gaze deeply into each other’s eyes. It’s magic!

Click here for TICKETS

And there’s a Facebook event here if that’s your jam.

The Offtopics lounge about at BaBs Friday 25 July

It’s a while away yet but we’re planning a different sort of gig to the big extravaganzas we’ve been producing lately. For a free-entry show at BaBs (aka The Brunswick Artists Bar) we’re reverting to a tight 5 piece R&B group for a night of deep soul, reggae and roots mixed in with our original songs. BaBs is a tiny place. It’s a bit like playing in your lounge room so make sure you come wearing your comfiest tracky pants. Linc won’t be joining us for this one. He’s snowed under with other commitments that include a trip to Canada with Kutcha Edwards and his own album launch. (More about that next). Filling in on traps for him will be ex-Frente! and current Marcel Borrack TD Band drummer Al Barden.

Come have a mulled wine and see The Offtopics attempt things they wouldn’t normally do in a smaller, tighter line-up.

Sunday School of Rock

Sunday School of Rock has been pootling along happily at The Henkel Street Cinema. Enthusiastic lovers of concert films and music documentaries have been gathering on the second Sunday of the Month. Numbers ebb and flow but so far there seems to be a core group of movie goers finding the curatorial choices intriguing enough that they come to every session. Last months’ installment of Miss Nikki and the Tiger Girls is followed by Mozart’s Sister this month thereby continuing the theme of girl power and women kicking against the pricks… and stretching the definition of “rock” in the process.

The July installment is Kneecap the movie which expands the ongoing theme of resistance to include de-colonisation. The movie’s also meant to be frickin’ hilarious so that’s not to missed either. “Mozart’s Sister” is on Sunday 8th of June and “Kneecap” is on Sunday 13 July.

There’ll be an announcement about what’s on at Sunday School of Rock for the second half the year in the coming weeks. Polash is yet to program it, but rest assured it’ll be as weird, wonderful, thought provoking and fascinating as what’s been on to date.

The Deans of Vinyl

Most of you will know about Linc’s band The Deans of Soul but did you know that they’re launching, as Linc puts it, “their first vinyl release”? Presumably he’s referring to a 12 inch record with music on it and not a jacket, or a couch or reconditioned seat covers for a 1976 Datsun 120Y… It’s quite probable that, IF it is indeed a record, then it’ll showcase some of the songs they recorded over the last year like this one:

They’ve cleverly linked themselves to the Northcote Social Club’s 20th anniversary celebrations and they’ve lined up Indigenous artists Candice Lorae and our friend Pirritu to open for them so it should be quite the soiree.

When is this launch of a vinyl record (or couch or jacket) you may ask? It’s on Saturday 26 July. I expect I’ll see you there.

Press here for tickets!

Vale Mash

Finally, a bit of sad news:

Some of you already knew but here it is made official in the Hot Topics Newsletter. In late March the band’s assistant band manager, studio captain and deputy bookings coordinator passed away. We’re not sure, but we think she was almost 16.

This photo was taken just a couple of weeks before she took sudden turn for the worse, losing the ability to eat or drink. Here she is “helping” to load the car before our show at the Lorne Bowls Club. She was a real people dog and would even come to the occasional gig. One that springs to mind was the one at the Cross Street Hall where she disappeared and I ended up having to drag her out of the men’s toilets.

She was a firm believer in the fundamental goodness of humans. She came into our family when she followed my ex-brother in-law home. She was a young pup, lost on the mean streets of South Kingsville. Her microchip was scanned and her erstwhile owners declared the unthinkable – they didn’t want her! So she joined a family who already had a dog named “Bangers” and thus she became “Mash”. I never learned her original name.

Her new family moved to Macedon and she became a country dog. Then that family moved somewhere she couldn’t follow. They moved to Thailand while Mash remained with another young family in Macedon though she’d occasionally get some town time with us in Brunswick. This arrangement became more or less permanent during the dark times of the Pandemic. She kept us sane. Pretty much every day she did something funny, or unusual, or annoying that gave us something to talk about so we didn’t retreat into ourselves. She found half a kebab under a bush by the footy oval and so became a devotee of “The Kebab Fairy” praying every day at the magic kebab bush for the next few years.

Her legend spread through the neighborhood. Her people skills were renowned and I suspected (with some justification) that she was quite a bit more popular than me. The vet nurses at the Essendon Veterinary Clinic called her “our queen” when featuring her in their social media posts. When I stopped in for a beer at The Foreigner Brewing Company I found this sitting on the taps – awaiting my arrival some days after her passing.

Her portrait now hangs permanently on the wall at Foreigner as a mark of her popularity amongst the regulars.

After her death I got a song stuck in my head. You might have expected it to be something like Yusuf Islam/Cat Stevens’ “I Love My Dog” but with the unpredictability of grief it was something else entirely. I found myself playing the Irish standard “Raglan Road” over and over again. The song was adapted from a poem by Patrick Kavanagh first published in 1946 as “Dark Haired Miriam Ran Away”. It was one of several poems inspired by the unrequited love (she liked him as a friend) Kavanagh felt for the much younger Dr Hilda Moriarty. Decades later Kavanagh met Luke Kelly of The Dubliners and the poem was set to the tune of an Irish Language song “Fainne Gael an Lae” from the mid 19th Century. In another odd coincidence, a line from the poem, “along the enchanted way”, had been co-opted by William Blacker for the title of his memoir about Romania. Former Offtopic keys man, Mark Bretherton had insisted I read the book before our 2023 trip to Romania citing it as one of Prince (as he was then) Charles’ favourite books. The book I could take or leave… probably the latter. I was definitely more into the song.

In the immediate post-Mash period I mostly played the version I knew which was from the “Irish Heartbeat” album by Van Morrison and The Chieftans.

But I also obsessively sought out other versions of the song including those by The Dubliners, Sinead O’Connor, Mark Knopfler and even the version by Ed Sheeran which I won’t bother linking because frankly, it’s crap.

I worked out the chords and transcribed the lyrics. I’d pick up a guitar and bellow out the words at random moments in between whatever jobs I was doing.

And bit by bit and by such and such grief did indeed become “a falling leaf at the dawning of the day.”

While in her high energy younger days she was sometimes the “Monster” Mash, in her golden years she grew into our “Sweet Potato”.

Vale.

The Offtopics Provisional Freedom Tour

“Do you think you’ll see The Offtopics again, Monsieur President?”

“I don’t think. I know.”

Hey there Offtopics Pals,

It’s your P.A.L. here – that’s right, it’s me – Polash A Larsen, your friendly neighbourhood funk dynamo just dropping you a quick line to let you know what’s in the offing for the next couple of months.

Firstly, let me apologize for the radio silence. Looking back I’m stunned to see that the last update was aaaaalllll the way back in late June. I suppose I could put a positive spin on it and say that we Offtopics take our commitment not to span our subscribers seriously, but the honest truth is, as George Harrison said, “it’s been a long, cold lonely winter”. The last mailout was full of optimism about future gigs and my efforts to fundraise for mental health and suicide awareness through doing LOTS of pushups. While we did get to play an absolutely amazing show at POME in late July, pretty soon we were packing up again and well on the way to making Melbourne’s the world’s longest lockdown. Our Macedon gig was postponed for the third time and our August, September and October POME shows were cancelled…

BUT… like the rest of that song goes – HERE COMES THE SUN…

The band is fully vaxed and all our worries have been axed. I’ll be celebrating my birthday on the night of Saturday 27 November and, as it happens, The Offtopics are playing at POME that night.

If, like me, you’re ready and eager to participate in the vaccinated economy, then I’d love to see at the gig. Honestly, the only birthday present I’ve been dreaming of for the last few months has been playing at that gig.
Tickets can be booked here:

If you’re not quite ready for an outing, and hey, a lot of people I know are still feeling squirrelly at the thought of being out and about, then you can watch a bit of the show online via POME’s social media pages. The good folk at POME have locked us in for Friday 17 December as well where we’ll have a couple of special guests to help celebrate Festivus.

So what else has been going on? It hasn’t all been doom and gloom. In fact I was recently pretty chuffed to see that artist and illustrator Aidan Jarvis stuck us into his inspo list to drive his drawing through Oz Music Month. We’re amongst some legendary names there, and I’m pretty curious to see how my lines affect his lines.

I’ll be heading out for a little road trip on Saturday 20 November as my friends down at In The Skiesin Lorne have invited me down to do a solo acoustic show. There’s a clip on Facebook of the show I did there almost exactly a year ago.

At some point in the next couple of weeks I might be getting called upon to fill in for Brett Dellavedova on rhythm guitar for a Short Order Schefs outdoor Jamaican music extravaganza. Keep an eye on the socials for when that happens – because when it does, it’ll be at short notice. Speaking of the Schefs, this won’t be my first collab with them. As some of you might remember I did this tribute to Toots Hibbert with them last year.

Since then we’ve been slowly working on a series of recordings around the working title “Dancing with Polash and The Schefs”. I’ll look forward to sharing that when I can.

That’s probably enough news for now. I think you’ll agree that three live shows (and possibly a cameo with someone else), all within a few weeks of vaccination targets being reached is cause for cautious optimism. I really hope I can catch up with you at one the shows listed below.

Stay safe!

“Back on The Zine” EP Launch 4pm Sunday 18 November 2018

Event cover

Those of you familiar with the chap in the hat will, of course, recognize him as Frank DiNamo from the first three releases in the “Back on the Zine” series.  The final release will be a beautiful 12″ vinyl EP in a gatefold press.  Why a gatefold? Because it will take a full two pages to conclude the comic strip story that started all the way back in October 2017.

Single Launch 1

The Offtopics launching “Sunrise in Richmond” at Cherry Bar in 2017 (Photo: Con Cotsonis)

Part two, “Funky Grandma” got a live on-air launch during Vince Peach’s “Soul Time on 3PBS in March 2018.

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Pictured Right to Left – Mark Bretherton (looking smooth), Vince Peach (looking cool) and Polash Larsen (looking like a sweaty goonda) (Photo: Probably Omid with Mark’s phone)

Part three, “A Man Needs Cooling” saw The Offtopics return to the scene of the crime… er… (the band’s first ever gig was at the Brunswick Mechanic’s Institute for a Metanoia Theatre Season launch).  The band packed out the theatre and put on a fabbo show!

1st choice

So much pointing! Don’t they know god kills a fairy when you point?? (Photo: Eddy Acheson)

The show also included this video shot by Patrick Stapleton and starring Donna Dimovski-Kantarovski.  We shot the video at Brunswick’s Daddy Bar and had heaps of fun in the process.

 

And now, Sydney Road’s iconic Spotted Mallard will host the band for the final installment – the big, fat 12 inch to finish it all off.  This beautiful record comes with the aforementioned gatefold cover and an A1 sized poster designed by the inimitable Melanie Myles of Hybrid Expression.  The poster is designed to let all you collectors hang and display the full Back on the Zine story.  Here’s a sneak peak!

Offtopics A1 Poster-Proof-Mockup.jpg

This is how it’s supposed to be. Don’t miss out!

The EP will include all the hitherto released material as well as two additional songs.  One of them is our rollicking cover of the old Jo Jo Zep classic “Shape I’m In“. We Offtopics merely stand on the shoulders of giants like Joe Camilleri, Tony Faehse and Jeff Burstin. (We also love Wog Rock!) Joe Camilleri once said to Polash that “It’s better to have one really good thing than a whole pile of shit”.  Our Funk Dynamo is clearly hoping for one of those over the other.  Guitarist Dave Sheehan (who plays cricket with Jeff Burstin at Clifton Hill CC) is hoping he doesn’t cop too much crap over our version of this great Aussie anthem.

So what the hell is a “zine” and what does “Back on the Zine mean, anyway?  The term, short for magazine or fanzine, comes from the counter-cultural publishing movement of the 60’s and 70’s.  A lot of comics and music writing got printed in this format.  Pronounced “zeen” there’s also a wry association with us old musos being back on the scene – though did we go away?  Perhaps we did…

We’d love to see YOU back on the scene with us though, on Sunday 4pm 18 November at The Spotted Mallard.  The Offtopics being family men (for the most part) have chosen a family-friendly time to get their funk on.  This venue is pretty kid-friendly (for a place without play equipment – Polash DID try to find a place with both a PA and a slide…) so bring the whole family if you like.  Kids enter free.  There’ll be plenty of food and drink.  We’ve been working on this whole series since April 2016 – literally two and a half years by the time we launch.  Don’t miss out! Come celebrate with us in November.  We’d love to see you at what will most likely be our last gig for 2018!

Tickets are available via Moshtix

The Facebook event is here.

And you’ll be able to buy advance copies (along with previous releases) here.

Well that should take us through to the end of the year…

But wait – you’re probably thinking – it’s only August!  Well, here in Offtopics land with the kind of extensive stakeholder network we have (eight band members’ kids, partners, work and other commitments) we have to work several months ahead.  The big news is that we’ve set a date for our EP launch – the final part in our epic, four-part vinyl series but we wouldn’t be us if we only had one thing to share with you so, with that in mind, here’s a raft-load of announcements…

Ahem…

  1. First up we have a cosy, little gig at The Edinburgh Castle Hotel in Brunswick on Thursday 13 September.  We’ve had our eye on the EC since our old mates Checkerboard started playing the occasional show in the front bar.  As Dave, our lead axeman (and older brother of Checkerboard’s bass player Amos) said “there’ll be twice as many of us and we’ll be half as loud.”

    We’ll play a couple of sets and you can wash down your burger and beer with some of our funny funk.  In those environs we’re looking forward to some mellower, more romantic songs… unless of course we have a repeat of the infamous events of a couple of months ago at The Union Hotel.  Trakkie-dakked punters unexpectedly put aside their parmas to kick their heels up.  There were some excellent renditions of the tracksuit pants dance (where one keeps one’s hands in the pockets to avoid an elastic let-down).

    This is a free gig and you can find out more about it here.

  2. October won’t see us doing any public gigs.  We are playing at a private party but for the most part we’ll be using the month to prepare for our November EP launch.  From the feedback we got about our “Man Needs Cooling” single launch in July, the set we played was pretty killer.

    1st choice

    We’ll be refining that show further with some new songs, dance moves and stage business.  October’s all about craft, craft craft for us.

  3. OK – this is the big one you’ve been waiting for.

    Sunday arvo at The Spotted Mallard on 18 November from 4pm.


    Like it says… SAVE THE DATE!  Due to the Funk Dynamo’s commitments to the FIH World Cup in Bhubaneshwar in December this will be The Offtopics’ LAST GIG FOR 2018!!!

Two and a half years in the making, turnover in the band, three vinyl single launches, graphic designers losing their minds, numerous radio and other interviews about it and we’re finally approaching the launch of our “Back on the Zine” EP.

We’re really thrilled to be playing at this iconic Sydney Rd venue at a family friendly time.  Although the band’s name might suggest a certain randomness of approach (and we try to be as free as we can on stage) there are usually considered reasons for us doing what we do.  Without giving away too many spoilers it’s all about the story.  If you’ve been following the adventures of Donna and Frank as they try to get to The Funkhole you might have an inkling of why an afternoon show in Brunswick makes all kind of sense.

We’ll put out a thorough write up about the EP Launch once the ticketing link is live.  In the meantime you can read up on the back story via these links:
[media release] The Offtopics – SINGLE Launch #1 (2017)

[media release] The Offtopics – Funky Grandma (SINGLE #2) 2018

[media release] The Offtopics – A Man Needs Cooling (SINGLE #3) 2018

Stay tuned for more folks!

“A Man Needs Cooling” Single Launch Friday 27 July

Offtopics Beat poster (1).jpg

Wowie Zowie!  We are heading to a climactic close to July, funk lovers!

Our “Back on The Zine” series of gorgeous vinyl seven inch records continues apace with this, the third installment.  It’s called “A Man Needs Cooling“.  What does that mean?  You can find out at our launch party.   It’s gonna be a doozy!

On Friday 27 July we’re throwing an epic party at the place where it all started for The Offtopics: The Brunswick Mechanics Institute.  We’re going to push back all the seating in the theatre to make some heel kickin’ room.  We’ll treat everyone to a screening of our brand, new film-clip and before we play we’ll have some support from The Fix Ups.

TheFixUpsSQ

Hey, I know what you’re thinking… we know all about The Offtopics peculiar blend of Slapstick Soul, Punch-Drunk Funk and we LOVE the way they put the scatalogical into Ska… but WHO are The Fix Ups.  Well… this is what they have to say about themselves:

“Melbourne based trio The Fix Ups are all about the real deal automobile life machine living the dreaming or whatever this is seeming, like twin flamin’ datin’ boots guitar riffin’ vocals a shimmering, sexy bassing, mimimg the drumming, organs pulsing, amps hiss and deliver original wordly kibble and droney rhythm dribble… Yeah your hips will wiggle.”

If, dear reader, you understood what all that meant then please write your answer on the back of a fifty dollar note and post that pineapple to us here at theofftopics.com c/o The Funk Dynamo’s Benevolent Trust.  Sigh… kids…

What we CAN tell you through close listening to The Fix Ups is that they perform a very groovy blend of danceable indie pop that draws on electro stylings.  Here’s one of their said “groovy tunes”.

https://soundcloud.com/thefixups/secrets-to-our-cells

They’ve also been known to whip out a charming cover of Althea and Donna.

What all this means is that you can get all of your dance hesitations out of the way before The Offtopics take the stage.  Do some sharp electro moves and then get loose and funky as the night goes on!

Word on the street is that, if you imagine The Fix Ups’ front man without hair, he’ll look a lot like The Offtopics’ very own Tony “Hit Man” Champagne.  Word on the street is obviously onto something because The Fix Ups’ front man is none other than the first-born fruit of Tony’s loins: Nikos Shannon.  We like to make it a family affair at our little shindigs so, by all means, bring all the fam along for a good time!

Tickets are available here

Plus a bit more info about the event.

“A Man Needs Cooling” Single Launch Party by The Offtopics

Date: Friday 27 July

Location: Brunswick Mechanics Institute – 270 Sydney Rd Brunswick

Doors: 7pm

The Fix Ups: 8pm

Video Clip Screening: 8:55

The Offtopics: 9pm

Tickets: $15 (minors and companion card holders free)

Whoah-oh Red Betty… Bambalam…

That’s right folks!

The Offtopics are kicking off June with a cozy show at Brunswick’s newest, most magical music venue – Red Betty.  We’ll be playing on the world famous stage* down Houdini Lane.  For those of you not in the know, Moreland Magician, Dane Certificate (what were his parents thinking?!) built this performance space behind 859 Sydney Rd Brunswick a while back in order to perplex prepubescent people with pulchritudinous prestidigitation!

P-p-p-p-pppp-peh…

It’s now a bar.

And it’s friggin’ cool!

We’re playing a free entry gig supported by the hilariously talented Jo Cotsonis. She’s also pulchritudinous… look it up.

Red Betty Poster 2 June

Like the poster says – the doors open from 7 and it’s free!  Jo will be on around 8 and we’ll be on after.  Come along for a good time. Or even – dare we say it – a great time!

Here’s the Facebook event if you’d like to let us know that you’re coming… or if you’re “interested”: https://www.facebook.com/events/165137544163726/

In other June news we’re also playing a gig at The Union Hotel in Brunswick on June 16.   We also have some news about our third single launch “A Man Needs Cooling” but that’s in July – so you’ll have to wait for news about that.

 

 

 

 

*not actually “world famous”… yet.

 

Live At The Waterfall!

Hurstbridge 28APR18

This Saturday evening, folks!  It’s a dinner and show at the Post Office Cafe.  $50 gets you a reserved seat and a delicious meal of your choice with an accompanying beverage.  You also get the original soul stylings of The Offtopics playing their funniest, funkiest tunes.

Contact the venue or call Fab on 0421 117 472 to book a table now!

More info on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/events/421850284920330/