What’s On In Winter 2025

Beloved Offtopics friends,

I’m still waiting for one of you to write in with a suggested demonym for those of you who live in that place Mailchimp unromantically calls “The Offtopics Mailing List”. I can’t keep referring to you as “Offtopics Friends” forever. It feels like such a placeholder…

And while we’re at it – what should we call this newsletter? I’m leaning towards calling it “Hot Topics”… though admittedly, that name DOES put me in mind of The Hot Gossip dancers that boggled my juvenile mind during re-runs of the Kenny Everett Show on the ABC back in the day. Ah… memories… But before I let myself get mugged down memory lane, best not to go… ahem… off topic and move on to the hot topics (Ah ha!) of this newsletter.

We’ve got a couple of shows to announce, two Offtopics shows, a plug for Linc’s forthcoming album launch, more docos at Sunday School of Rock and a sad farewell to one of The Offtopics’ management team.

Let’s get on with it!

The Offtopics at Shotkickers – Friday 13 June

We’re bringing our punch-drunk funk, unsteady rocksteady and slapstick soul to a last-minute surprise show at Shotkickers on the spoooookiest night of the year – Friday 13 June!

Shotkickers has been rapidly rising over the last couple of years as the IT venue for Melbourne’s independent band scene in the north. They’ve shown their dedication to live music by investing in a top quality sound and light system which means you can both SEE and HEAR your favourite bands achieve sonic clarity without being so loud they deafen you. Shotkickers was on our radar as a possible venue for our album launch but we couldn’t quite accommodate each other’s dates. So when there was a surprise cancellation we thought, “let’s do it!” It’s a pretty short lead time to the gig though – so we’ll need your help filling the room!

This is our FIRST Melbourne show since last November’s album launch. Bring your dancing crocs for what promises to be a very special night with the full 7-piece band with support from Ngiyampaa man PIRRITU.

Polash met Brett Lee aka Pirritu at a music management workshop a few years ago. He has an interesting story and writes sweet, soulful tunes in a singer-songwriter vein. He can also rock a killer jumper. Pirritu will be an excellent warm up for all the bombast and silliness to follow.

Some of that silliness includes a guest appearance by our old friend Madeleine Clare to duet on Mr Tonight. Don’t miss the delicious awkwardness that occurs when she and Polash gaze deeply into each other’s eyes. It’s magic!

Click here for TICKETS

And there’s a Facebook event here if that’s your jam.

The Offtopics lounge about at BaBs Friday 25 July

It’s a while away yet but we’re planning a different sort of gig to the big extravaganzas we’ve been producing lately. For a free-entry show at BaBs (aka The Brunswick Artists Bar) we’re reverting to a tight 5 piece R&B group for a night of deep soul, reggae and roots mixed in with our original songs. BaBs is a tiny place. It’s a bit like playing in your lounge room so make sure you come wearing your comfiest tracky pants. Linc won’t be joining us for this one. He’s snowed under with other commitments that include a trip to Canada with Kutcha Edwards and his own album launch. (More about that next). Filling in on traps for him will be ex-Frente! and current Marcel Borrack TD Band drummer Al Barden.

Come have a mulled wine and see The Offtopics attempt things they wouldn’t normally do in a smaller, tighter line-up.

Sunday School of Rock

Sunday School of Rock has been pootling along happily at The Henkel Street Cinema. Enthusiastic lovers of concert films and music documentaries have been gathering on the second Sunday of the Month. Numbers ebb and flow but so far there seems to be a core group of movie goers finding the curatorial choices intriguing enough that they come to every session. Last months’ installment of Miss Nikki and the Tiger Girls is followed by Mozart’s Sister this month thereby continuing the theme of girl power and women kicking against the pricks… and stretching the definition of “rock” in the process.

The July installment is Kneecap the movie which expands the ongoing theme of resistance to include de-colonisation. The movie’s also meant to be frickin’ hilarious so that’s not to missed either. “Mozart’s Sister” is on Sunday 8th of June and “Kneecap” is on Sunday 13 July.

There’ll be an announcement about what’s on at Sunday School of Rock for the second half the year in the coming weeks. Polash is yet to program it, but rest assured it’ll be as weird, wonderful, thought provoking and fascinating as what’s been on to date.

The Deans of Vinyl

Most of you will know about Linc’s band The Deans of Soul but did you know that they’re launching, as Linc puts it, “their first vinyl release”? Presumably he’s referring to a 12 inch record with music on it and not a jacket, or a couch or reconditioned seat covers for a 1976 Datsun 120Y… It’s quite probable that, IF it is indeed a record, then it’ll showcase some of the songs they recorded over the last year like this one:

They’ve cleverly linked themselves to the Northcote Social Club’s 20th anniversary celebrations and they’ve lined up Indigenous artists Candice Lorae and our friend Pirritu to open for them so it should be quite the soiree.

When is this launch of a vinyl record (or couch or jacket) you may ask? It’s on Saturday 26 July. I expect I’ll see you there.

Press here for tickets!

Vale Mash

Finally, a bit of sad news:

Some of you already knew but here it is made official in the Hot Topics Newsletter. In late March the band’s assistant band manager, studio captain and deputy bookings coordinator passed away. We’re not sure, but we think she was almost 16.

This photo was taken just a couple of weeks before she took sudden turn for the worse, losing the ability to eat or drink. Here she is “helping” to load the car before our show at the Lorne Bowls Club. She was a real people dog and would even come to the occasional gig. One that springs to mind was the one at the Cross Street Hall where she disappeared and I ended up having to drag her out of the men’s toilets.

She was a firm believer in the fundamental goodness of humans. She came into our family when she followed my ex-brother in-law home. She was a young pup, lost on the mean streets of South Kingsville. Her microchip was scanned and her erstwhile owners declared the unthinkable – they didn’t want her! So she joined a family who already had a dog named “Bangers” and thus she became “Mash”. I never learned her original name.

Her new family moved to Macedon and she became a country dog. Then that family moved somewhere she couldn’t follow. They moved to Thailand while Mash remained with another young family in Macedon though she’d occasionally get some town time with us in Brunswick. This arrangement became more or less permanent during the dark times of the Pandemic. She kept us sane. Pretty much every day she did something funny, or unusual, or annoying that gave us something to talk about so we didn’t retreat into ourselves. She found half a kebab under a bush by the footy oval and so became a devotee of “The Kebab Fairy” praying every day at the magic kebab bush for the next few years.

Her legend spread through the neighborhood. Her people skills were renowned and I suspected (with some justification) that she was quite a bit more popular than me. The vet nurses at the Essendon Veterinary Clinic called her “our queen” when featuring her in their social media posts. When I stopped in for a beer at The Foreigner Brewing Company I found this sitting on the taps – awaiting my arrival some days after her passing.

Her portrait now hangs permanently on the wall at Foreigner as a mark of her popularity amongst the regulars.

After her death I got a song stuck in my head. You might have expected it to be something like Yusuf Islam/Cat Stevens’ “I Love My Dog” but with the unpredictability of grief it was something else entirely. I found myself playing the Irish standard “Raglan Road” over and over again. The song was adapted from a poem by Patrick Kavanagh first published in 1946 as “Dark Haired Miriam Ran Away”. It was one of several poems inspired by the unrequited love (she liked him as a friend) Kavanagh felt for the much younger Dr Hilda Moriarty. Decades later Kavanagh met Luke Kelly of The Dubliners and the poem was set to the tune of an Irish Language song “Fainne Gael an Lae” from the mid 19th Century. In another odd coincidence, a line from the poem, “along the enchanted way”, had been co-opted by William Blacker for the title of his memoir about Romania. Former Offtopic keys man, Mark Bretherton had insisted I read the book before our 2023 trip to Romania citing it as one of Prince (as he was then) Charles’ favourite books. The book I could take or leave… probably the latter. I was definitely more into the song.

In the immediate post-Mash period I mostly played the version I knew which was from the “Irish Heartbeat” album by Van Morrison and The Chieftans.

But I also obsessively sought out other versions of the song including those by The Dubliners, Sinead O’Connor, Mark Knopfler and even the version by Ed Sheeran which I won’t bother linking because frankly, it’s crap.

I worked out the chords and transcribed the lyrics. I’d pick up a guitar and bellow out the words at random moments in between whatever jobs I was doing.

And bit by bit and by such and such grief did indeed become “a falling leaf at the dawning of the day.”

While in her high energy younger days she was sometimes the “Monster” Mash, in her golden years she grew into our “Sweet Potato”.

Vale.

“A Man Needs Cooling” Single Launch Friday 27 July

Offtopics Beat poster (1).jpg

Wowie Zowie!  We are heading to a climactic close to July, funk lovers!

Our “Back on The Zine” series of gorgeous vinyl seven inch records continues apace with this, the third installment.  It’s called “A Man Needs Cooling“.  What does that mean?  You can find out at our launch party.   It’s gonna be a doozy!

On Friday 27 July we’re throwing an epic party at the place where it all started for The Offtopics: The Brunswick Mechanics Institute.  We’re going to push back all the seating in the theatre to make some heel kickin’ room.  We’ll treat everyone to a screening of our brand, new film-clip and before we play we’ll have some support from The Fix Ups.

TheFixUpsSQ

Hey, I know what you’re thinking… we know all about The Offtopics peculiar blend of Slapstick Soul, Punch-Drunk Funk and we LOVE the way they put the scatalogical into Ska… but WHO are The Fix Ups.  Well… this is what they have to say about themselves:

“Melbourne based trio The Fix Ups are all about the real deal automobile life machine living the dreaming or whatever this is seeming, like twin flamin’ datin’ boots guitar riffin’ vocals a shimmering, sexy bassing, mimimg the drumming, organs pulsing, amps hiss and deliver original wordly kibble and droney rhythm dribble… Yeah your hips will wiggle.”

If, dear reader, you understood what all that meant then please write your answer on the back of a fifty dollar note and post that pineapple to us here at theofftopics.com c/o The Funk Dynamo’s Benevolent Trust.  Sigh… kids…

What we CAN tell you through close listening to The Fix Ups is that they perform a very groovy blend of danceable indie pop that draws on electro stylings.  Here’s one of their said “groovy tunes”.

https://soundcloud.com/thefixups/secrets-to-our-cells

They’ve also been known to whip out a charming cover of Althea and Donna.

What all this means is that you can get all of your dance hesitations out of the way before The Offtopics take the stage.  Do some sharp electro moves and then get loose and funky as the night goes on!

Word on the street is that, if you imagine The Fix Ups’ front man without hair, he’ll look a lot like The Offtopics’ very own Tony “Hit Man” Champagne.  Word on the street is obviously onto something because The Fix Ups’ front man is none other than the first-born fruit of Tony’s loins: Nikos Shannon.  We like to make it a family affair at our little shindigs so, by all means, bring all the fam along for a good time!

Tickets are available here

Plus a bit more info about the event.

“A Man Needs Cooling” Single Launch Party by The Offtopics

Date: Friday 27 July

Location: Brunswick Mechanics Institute – 270 Sydney Rd Brunswick

Doors: 7pm

The Fix Ups: 8pm

Video Clip Screening: 8:55

The Offtopics: 9pm

Tickets: $15 (minors and companion card holders free)

Whoah-oh Red Betty… Bambalam…

That’s right folks!

The Offtopics are kicking off June with a cozy show at Brunswick’s newest, most magical music venue – Red Betty.  We’ll be playing on the world famous stage* down Houdini Lane.  For those of you not in the know, Moreland Magician, Dane Certificate (what were his parents thinking?!) built this performance space behind 859 Sydney Rd Brunswick a while back in order to perplex prepubescent people with pulchritudinous prestidigitation!

P-p-p-p-pppp-peh…

It’s now a bar.

And it’s friggin’ cool!

We’re playing a free entry gig supported by the hilariously talented Jo Cotsonis. She’s also pulchritudinous… look it up.

Red Betty Poster 2 June

Like the poster says – the doors open from 7 and it’s free!  Jo will be on around 8 and we’ll be on after.  Come along for a good time. Or even – dare we say it – a great time!

Here’s the Facebook event if you’d like to let us know that you’re coming… or if you’re “interested”: https://www.facebook.com/events/165137544163726/

In other June news we’re also playing a gig at The Union Hotel in Brunswick on June 16.   We also have some news about our third single launch “A Man Needs Cooling” but that’s in July – so you’ll have to wait for news about that.

 

 

 

 

*not actually “world famous”… yet.

 

Live At The Waterfall!

Hurstbridge 28APR18

This Saturday evening, folks!  It’s a dinner and show at the Post Office Cafe.  $50 gets you a reserved seat and a delicious meal of your choice with an accompanying beverage.  You also get the original soul stylings of The Offtopics playing their funniest, funkiest tunes.

Contact the venue or call Fab on 0421 117 472 to book a table now!

More info on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/events/421850284920330/