“A Man Needs Cooling” Single Launch Friday 27 July

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Wowie Zowie!  We are heading to a climactic close to July, funk lovers!

Our “Back on The Zine” series of gorgeous vinyl seven inch records continues apace with this, the third installment.  It’s called “A Man Needs Cooling“.  What does that mean?  You can find out at our launch party.   It’s gonna be a doozy!

On Friday 27 July we’re throwing an epic party at the place where it all started for The Offtopics: The Brunswick Mechanics Institute.  We’re going to push back all the seating in the theatre to make some heel kickin’ room.  We’ll treat everyone to a screening of our brand, new film-clip and before we play we’ll have some support from The Fix Ups.

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Hey, I know what you’re thinking… we know all about The Offtopics peculiar blend of Slapstick Soul, Punch-Drunk Funk and we LOVE the way they put the scatalogical into Ska… but WHO are The Fix Ups.  Well… this is what they have to say about themselves:

“Melbourne based trio The Fix Ups are all about the real deal automobile life machine living the dreaming or whatever this is seeming, like twin flamin’ datin’ boots guitar riffin’ vocals a shimmering, sexy bassing, mimimg the drumming, organs pulsing, amps hiss and deliver original wordly kibble and droney rhythm dribble… Yeah your hips will wiggle.”

If, dear reader, you understood what all that meant then please write your answer on the back of a fifty dollar note and post that pineapple to us here at theofftopics.com c/o The Funk Dynamo’s Benevolent Trust.  Sigh… kids…

What we CAN tell you through close listening to The Fix Ups is that they perform a very groovy blend of danceable indie pop that draws on electro stylings.  Here’s one of their said “groovy tunes”.

They’ve also been known to whip out a charming cover of Althea and Donna.

What all this means is that you can get all of your dance hesitations out of the way before The Offtopics take the stage.  Do some sharp electro moves and then get loose and funky as the night goes on!

Word on the street is that, if you imagine The Fix Ups’ front man without hair, he’ll look a lot like The Offtopics’ very own Tony “Hit Man” Champagne.  Word on the street is obviously onto something because The Fix Ups’ front man is none other than the first-born fruit of Tony’s loins: Nikos Shannon.  We like to make it a family affair at our little shindigs so, by all means, bring all the fam along for a good time!

Tickets are available here

Plus a bit more info about the event.

“A Man Needs Cooling” Single Launch Party by The Offtopics

Date: Friday 27 July

Location: Brunswick Mechanics Institute – 270 Sydney Rd Brunswick

Doors: 7pm

The Fix Ups: 8pm

Video Clip Screening: 8:55

The Offtopics: 9pm

Tickets: $15 (minors and companion card holders free)

Whoah-oh Red Betty… Bambalam…

That’s right folks!

The Offtopics are kicking off June with a cozy show at Brunswick’s newest, most magical music venue – Red Betty.  We’ll be playing on the world famous stage* down Houdini Lane.  For those of you not in the know, Moreland Magician, Dane Certificate (what were his parents thinking?!) built this performance space behind 859 Sydney Rd Brunswick a while back in order to perplex prepubescent people with pulchritudinous prestidigitation!

P-p-p-p-pppp-peh…

It’s now a bar.

And it’s friggin’ cool!

We’re playing a free entry gig supported by the hilariously talented Jo Cotsonis. She’s also pulchritudinous… look it up.

Red Betty Poster 2 June

Like the poster says – the doors open from 7 and it’s free!  Jo will be on around 8 and we’ll be on after.  Come along for a good time. Or even – dare we say it – a great time!

Here’s the Facebook event if you’d like to let us know that you’re coming… or if you’re “interested”: https://www.facebook.com/events/165137544163726/

In other June news we’re also playing a gig at The Union Hotel in Brunswick on June 16.   We also have some news about our third single launch “A Man Needs Cooling” but that’s in July – so you’ll have to wait for news about that.

 

 

 

 

*not actually “world famous”… yet.

 

Live At The Waterfall!

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This Saturday evening, folks!  It’s a dinner and show at the Post Office Cafe.  $50 gets you a reserved seat and a delicious meal of your choice with an accompanying beverage.  You also get the original soul stylings of The Offtopics playing their funniest, funkiest tunes.

Contact the venue or call Fab on 0421 117 472 to book a table now!

More info on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/events/421850284920330/

Take me to the April Sunrise in Richmond…

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Today’s feature image depicts The Offtopics’ tenor sax wrangler, Omid Shayan, stylishly combining white water rafting with manspreading in the green room at 3PBS FM.  And without any further ado – time to manspread the news.  We assume that’s the correct way to use that term…

The band had a great time last Wednesday performing in PBS’s Studio 5 Live.  We played five songs during “Soul Time” and then Mark, Polash and Omid popped into the studio to chat to Melbourne Soul legend, DJ and all round good bloke Vince Peach.

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Polash, Vince and Mark – Omid took the photo.

Vince was in fine form despite wearing a limp after an unfortunate scooter dismounting incident in Tasmania.  Mark looks smooth as always and Polash looks… rough.  If he looks like a sweaty Bengali Babu that’s basically because he is one.  It’s also because, in spite of the fact that this was a radio performance and no one could see him, he insisted on dancing around the studio like a loon.  Actually – that’s not altogether true.  You CAN see the performance on this video here. The set kicks off at about 8 minutes in.  For better sound listen to the Soul Time show archive.  Vince introduces the band about an hour into the show.

The gig went pretty well and kind of caps off all the work we’ve been putting into our latest 7 inch vinyl release “Funky Grandma“.  Now that’s out of the way let’s talk live shows that everyone can come to!

APRIL GIG ROUND UP

Thursday 12 April – Windsor

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The Offtopics will play their signature blend of sexy soul and funny funk at Back Bar in Windsor.  Full disclosure: this event has been organized by and for the polyamourous community of Melbourne.  While no one in the band *ahem* “swings” that way we all believe in love.  Who doesn’t right?  Surely there’s no such thing as too much of a good thing, amirite???  The event organizer told us that this cocktail night is “safe for the general public as long as they are somewhat interested in socializing with people interested in open relationships.”  If that sounds like your jam then we’ll be playing funky danceable songs from 10pm onwards.  You can find out more and buy tickets here.

Saturday 28 April – Hurstbridge

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“Live at the Waterfall” is what this one’s called.  It’s a special dinner and a show type performance being put on by The Offtopics’ old mate Bill Lowe at The Post Office Cafe in Hurstbridge.  We’ll play two sets of original funk, soul and ska by the waterfall at the back of the restaurant.  It turns out that Vince Peach knows this place well and took pains to tell us that there’s an eel at the bottom of the waterfall.  It also turns out that Polash gets a bit deaf sometimes. The wheels almost fell off the interview because he was convinced the illustrious DJ was talking about having a “meal in his bottom”.  Oh dear…  There’ll be a bespoke menu and drink specials on the night.  Apparently capacity is limited for this one so you might want to purchase your tickets early.  See this link for more info about the event and how to buy a ticket.

That’s it for the April gig round up.  Stay tuned for further news.  2018 is gunna be big!

 

 

The Offtopics Christmas in… er… December at Cross St.

After getting drenched at the Erasmus School Fete The Offtopics are ready for some laid back fun at our little hobbit hole on Cross St East Brunswick.

Come and join us for two sets of amusing tunes.  There’ll be some new songs and some old favourites.  No support either so you don’t have to share us with anyone!

This is an early one – we’re planning on taking the stage from about 8:30pm so you can order your uber eats for the first set and dance off all the grease during the second set.

Doors: 8pm.   Entry $10

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In case you didn’t make it to our single launch gig here’s us playing “Sunrise in Richmond”.

The Offtopics at Cross St Saturday 17 June with Special Guest: Jo Cotsonis

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The Offtopics are throwing a house party (of sorts) and you’re all invited to the comfy surrounds of Moreland City Band’s Cross Street Hall. We’ll be cooking up an exceptional brew of original soul, funk and rocksteady tunes about love gone so wrong you have to dance it away.

On that theme we’ll be ably supported by the beautiful, talented and hilarious Jo Cotsonis. This former opera singer turned romance demographer takes the shattered bits of her rocky love life and turns them into songs that will make you want to sing along and then give her a hug afterwards. Actually… buy her a drink and THEN give her a hug.

All bar sales go towards supporting the Moreland City Band so we encourage you to carpool if you’re planning on taking advantage of the generous onsite parking.

Doors open from 7pm
Cover charge: $10
Jo Cotsonis: 8pm
The Offtopics (two sets): 9pm

Here is the Facebook event for more details if you like that sort of thing: https://www.facebook.com/events/161794644355232/

 

THE OFFTOPICS DANCE BAR OUSSOU THURSDAY 18 MAY

What do all those words mean together?

The Offtopics are back at Bar Oussou after a hiatus of TOOOO LONG!

Two fabulous sets of funky originals, crazy dancing and questionable physical comedy.

Will the lead singer get out the funky undies? Will the cat ladies come and dance? So many questions…

Only YOU have the answer!

Offtopics at Oussou 18 May

 

Find the event on Facebook here: https://www.facebook.com/events/750693651758440/